This has been an interesting set of edits for me. I have a new editor and much as I love Angie—Hi Angie!—I’ve really enjoyed the process. Plus, new editor, new tricks!

We all have bad writing habits. Or we develop them as we go. Or we’re just lazy. But the crime is when we call those mistakes “style”. And one of the things I realized of late that I’ve been doing is “filtering”. That’s when you’re telling something through the eyes of a character, but you don’t have to.

This is a danger in the “Show, Don’t Tell” school of thought, and quite easy to fall into. You need to show someone else’s responses without head hopping. The temptation is to see everything through the eyes of your POV character.

Jenny watched George close his eyes, the lids tight with obvious pain.

But the rest of the scene is already in “Jenny’s” POV. It’s like adding an unnecessary dialogue tag or worse, putting the name of who you’re talking to at the end of every line. It’s not style. It’s not showing. It’s telling what you’re showing. You could just concisely say:

George closed his eyes, the lids tight with obvious pain.

So, to give credit where credit is due, I’ll quote the lovely Deborah Nemeth (who is rather bravely guiding me through the perils of grammar despite all my whining):

“(This) refers to words such as felt, thought, decided, wondered, remembered, knew, realized, figured, assumed, worked out, saw, watched, looked, and heard. These are all words which “tell” the reader information rather than “showing” it (i.e. giving them the impression that they’re discovering it for themselves). Of course, all writing is telling, but these words make the process a little more obvious. It’s often fine to use filter words—they can be an effective and economical way of conveying information. However, if they’re used too much, and particularly if they’re used in action scenes, they can distance the reader and slow the pace. This is because the reader gets the information through the “filter” of the character’s experience, thus reminding them that they’re being told about the scene.

So, if this tip helps you, Yay. It’s totally slicing and dicing my current word count, but in a good way. Plus, it means less editing later if you learn to do it as you’re writing. :)

Dee

And it was an erotic romance. Which I’m quite happy with, but one thing kept sticking out at me.

And yes, it’s what you think it was. Almost.

See, I’m pretty used to all kinds of…er, purple prose about the male part. It stands up. It’s huge. It can impale elephants with the force of his desire. Meh. What gets me totally out of the story is when the author waxes poetic about the “accoutrements” of the male part.

I mean, yes, I know the scrotum exists. I don’t want it to go away. I’m not looking for a Ken-doll. I guess I’m just wondering if there’s some kind of undercarriage-fetish I’m unaware of that the market is catering to. I’m seeing full-blown (pun not intended) descriptions and I gotta be honest…it’s squickin’ me out.

Am I alone? Are there parts of the male body that just don’t need rhapsodizing? Or am I being a “prude”?

Dee

To all my fellow mommies who don’t get to sleep, who think chips are their own food group and who know what it is to love someone even when they have gross stuff on their faces…

Happy Momma’s Day!
Dee

Okay, here’s the deal:

Me is fat.

Me is also still nursing babies who bite.

Hard.

A lot.

Goal:

Both these things need to stop.

By Nationals, I need to lose 10-15 lbs. Preferably 15.

By Nationals, the girls need to be weened completely.

Complications:

I can only work out with set limitations lest I risk hyperextension or subluxating my joints, which they do because of the EDS and because I’m inherently lazy.

When babies are hungry, they do not scream themselves to sleep. They scream incessantly for hours without end. They also work together to keep one another awake. Very bad if hubby is to go back to work and they’re screaming at 3 am. Also, they gave up pacifiers, so that is not an option.

Plan:

Will ride stationary bike for minimum of 30 minutes or walk for at least an hour, each day, without exception. Will also do minimum of 20 push ups and minimum of 10 roll ups. Will investigate the use of light pilates exercises, as the extended work out is a) impossible for my condition and b) impossible with the girls. Will not give into anorexic desire to not eat, but will continue embargo on pastry for the foreseeable future, excepting holidays and b-days, when a slight amount is allowed.

Will systematically remove one feeding every few weeks. Have successfully removed one morning nursing thus far. Will continue to supply the girls with cow milk at least once a day. Will start with warm milk as cold holds little appeal to them. Hope to remove night feedings soon. REALLY hoping.

Reward:

Should any weight loss actually occur, will reward self with purchase of clothing that fits, as none of my clothes have actually fit since the pregnancy. I simply refuse to buy more until I don’t look like a walking sausage.

My nips will no longer sting. Nuff said.

I’ve got roughly three months.
Wish me luck!
Dee

LOL, I figured I should talk something book sometime this month. As it happens, I actually have something bookworthy to say!

Midnight Legacy will be coming out in print, June 24th! Very much looking forward to this as it’s felt like the series was incomplete without the third book available in print. Wheee!

Also, I finished the first chapter on my new Blaze proposal. I’d started to get antsy about my revisions submission and realized, hey…it’s only been there two months! I can totally go back into mental hibernation, lol. There are real odds that I won’t hear anything until Nationals. We’ll see. Cross your fingers for earlier as I’m an impatient cow.

Dee

I’ve updated my website and this blog to reflect my new—and hopefully permanent—tag line: “Romance You Can Fall In Love With”.

Now to go write some lovable romance!
Dee

Sorry for the lack of post. I had to turn in my computer to the techs because I had overworked yet another Lappy. The screen was burning out—helped along by a glitch, I should add—and my trackpad mouse only double clicked. (Bad when paying bills.) So they replaced the entire “faceplate”—new keyboard, mouse and top of laptop. The other reasoning beehind that was that the original model I owned had a plastic type that absorbed skin oils and made the comp look filthy. It was pretty gross after two years. So, anyway, now it’s got a special new plastic and bought a keyboard protector to keep from spilling any crumbs or crap in there. Its so pretty and clean!!

One thing I’ve really forgotten was how dependent I was on my lappy. I seriously just hugged it when they handed it back. Considering how much writing I have ahead of me, this is the tool of my bliss.

On the hubby and the job. It turns out they let go of the guy who was interviewing him, so they had to start over, of sorts. Plus, the job they want him for is way more involved than he’d been told. We’re to hear some time this week if they’re taking him on. So definitely keep those fingers crossed.

Oh and I’m over at Romancing The Blog today!

Dee

He got a call today for a third interview on Monday. We’re really getting our hopes up on this one!

Also in other news, the car should finally be fixed today. Turns out the transmission broke because the radiator was cracked and was leaking water into the tranny. So, those needed rebuild and replacement, respectively. All together, brace yourself… three grand.

Can you say yeouch?

But if this job comes through, it’ll all be okay.
Cross your fingers,
Dee

Noellie actually did this last night. Isn’t she cute?

She still spends more time crawling, but Nia done learned to cross a room!